to take over the suit, leaving it in private hands.
Garst’s complaint did not allege any specific fraud, leading Lockheed to move for its dismissal. (We use “Lockheed” as a collective description for all defendants, which include multiple corporate subsidiaries. Lockheed Martin Integrated Solutions Co., which performed the services under the contract, has been sold since 1997 to ACS State and Local Solutions, Inc'., a subsidiary of Affiliated Computer Services, Inc., but Lockheed apparently retains all potential liability in this case.) Before the district court could act on Lockheed’s motion, Garst filed an amended complaint. At 16 pages and 71 paragraphs, it was 50% longer than the initial complaint — but, the district judge concluded, no better. The court dismissed it for failure to plead fraud with particularity, 158 F.Supp.2d 816 (N.D.Ill.2001), a requirement that applies because the False Claims Act condemns fraud but not negligent errors or omissions. The district court observed that Garst had not given any specific example of a fraudulent claim. The judge permitted Garst to try again but reminded him of the need to allege “the who, what, when, where, and how: the first paragraph of any newspaper story.” See DiLeo v. Ernst & Young, 901 F.2d 624, 627 (7th Cir.1990). The judge instructed Garst to file an organized and concise document.
Garst’s second amended complaint ballooned to 74 double-spaced pages with 198 paragraphs. Concise it was not. Before Lockheed could respond, Garst filed a third amended complaint, which broke the scale at 109 pages containing 345 numbered paragraphs; this document had 74 attachments, many of them lengthy. Lockheed asked the district judge to dismiss this complaint for failure to plead fraud with particularity, as Fed.R.Civ.P. 9(b) requires, and for the omission of any “short and plain statement of the claim”, as Fed.R.Civ.P. 8(a)(2) contemplates. These rules are not in conflict: it is possible to write a short statement narrating the claim — which is to say, the basic grievance — even if Rule 9(b) requires supplemental particulars. But the district judge concluded that this complaint is so sprawling as to be essentially incomprehensible (a Rule 8 problem) and that despite the bloat it lacks details outlining fraud (a Rule 9 shortcoming). Instead of dismissing this complaint, the judge directed Garst to file a more definite statement. To make sure that Garst knew exactly what was needed, the judge explained that the statement “should be brief and should as to each count: (1) identify specific false claims for payment or specific false statements made in order to obtain payment; (2) if a false statement is alleged, connect that statement to a specific claim for payment and state who made the statement to whom and when; and (3) briefly state why those claims or statements were false” (underlining in original). Garst responded with 23 single-spaced pages plus 25 new attachments. The statement is loaded with so many acronyms and cross-references to the third amended complaint (plus its attachments) that no one could understand it without juggling multiple documents. Concluding that matters had taken a turn for the worse, the district judge threw up his hands and dismissed the complaint, with prejudice, for Garst’s inability or unwillingness to conform his pleadings to Rules 8 and 9. 2002 WL 1794004, 2002 U.S. Dist. Lexis 14307 (N.D.I11. July 31, 2002).
The third amended complaint and statement together equate to 155 double-spaced pages and more than 400 numbered paragraphs, plus 99 attachments. You’d think that all this paper and ink would be