currently $75,000. Id. (citing § 1382(a)). The instant case clearly lacks diversity, as more than one of the defendants is alleged to reside in the same city as the plaintiff. (See Compl. at Caption; Security Recovery Defs.’ Mem. at 8.) The Supreme Court has provided that “[i]n the absence of diversity of citizenship, it is essential to jurisdiction that a substantial federal question should be presented.” Hagans v. Lavine, 415 U.S. 528, 536, 94 S.Ct. 1372, 39 L.Ed.2d 577 (1974) (quoting Ex parte Poresky, 290 U.S. 30, 31-32, 54 S.Ct. 3, 78 L.Ed. 152 (1933)). Thus, if plaintiff cannot present a substantial federal question, this Court lacks subject matter jurisdiction over his claim.
“A plaintiff properly invokes § 1331 jurisdiction when [he] pleads a colorable claim ‘arising under’ the Constitution or laws of the United States.” Arbaugh, 126 S.Ct. at 1244 (citing Bell v. Hood, 327 U.S. 678, 681-85, 66 S.Ct. 773, 90 L.Ed. 939 (1946)). A claim invoking federal-question jurisdiction, however, “may be dismissed for want of subject-matter jurisdiction if it is not colorable, i.e., if it is ‘immaterial and made solely for the purpose of obtaining jurisdiction’ or is ‘wholly insubstantial and frivolous.’ ” Id. at 1244 n. 10 (quoting Bell, 327 U.S. at 682-83, 66 S.Ct. 773). Furthermore, the Supreme Court has been clear that:
Dismissal for lack of subject-matter jurisdiction because of the inadequacy of the federal claim is proper only when the claim is “so insubstantial, implausible, foreclosed by prior decisions of [the Supreme] Court, or otherwise completely devoid of merit as not to involve a federal controversy.”
Steel Co. v. Citizens for a Better Environment, 523 U.S. 83, 89, 118 S.Ct. 1003, 140 L.Ed.2d 210 (1998) (quoting Oneida Indian Nation of N.Y. v. County of Oneida, 414 U.S. 661, 666, 94 S.Ct. 772, 39 L.Ed.2d 73 (1974)). Despite applying the liberal construction that is afforded to pro se litigants, this Court finds plaintiffs claim to be of the non-colorable variety described above.
Plaintiffs admonition to the Constitution and federal statutory law is, in a word, misguided. First, “[t]he federal constitution does not protect against injuries by purely private individuals — that is, individuals who cannot be considered as acting for state or local government.” Howard v. Wal-Mart, No. 05cv11759, 2006 WL 637855, at *2 (11th Cir. March 15, 2006); see also Canadian Transport Co. v. United States, 663 F.2d 1081, 1093 (D.C.Cir.1980) (“[P]rivate citizens, acting in their private capacities, cannot be guilty of violating due process rights.”). A federal credit union— although perhaps misleading in use of the word “federal” — is not a government agency, but rather is a private corporation or association. See Briggs v. State Dep’t Fed. Credit Union, No.05cv1344, 2006 WL 1444009, at *5 (D.D.C. May 25, 2006). Similarly, Security Recovery, Inc. appears by all accounts to be a private business. It goes without question that the employees of these private entities are also not government actors. Thus, the thirty-seven constitutional violations alleged by plaintiff in Count Two cannot apply toward either the Credit Union defendants or the Security Recovery defendants.18
Additionally, the statute cited in Count Two, 18 U.S.C. § 3571, is a criminal statute regarding fines for criminal offenses and does not provide for a private cause of action. 18 U.S.C. § 3571; Massey v. Bank of Edmondson County, No. 02cv5358, 2002 WL 31475012, at * 2 (6th
18
Mirel, the only government defendant and thus the only defendant who can be liable for constitutional violations, was not named in Count Two, nor in Count One or Three for that matter.